Mighty White of YouJuly 29th, 2011

If you watch old movies, you’ve run across the expression “That’s white of you.” It’s meant to be a compliment from one caucasian to another, acknowledging the obvious connection between virtue and skin color. It’s fallen into disuse except as sarcasm. Maybe it ought to be rehabilitated.

In the value system of the new millennium, it’s a challenge to name a single virtue exhibited by any variety of human, but it’s especially hard to find virtue among white people. Richer by orders of magnitude than their more numerous, dark-skinned brethren, they use their advantage to oppress and enslave the less fortunate. White people are armed to the teeth, reserving most of their bombs and bullets for dark-complected folks. They kill children with as little thought as they exterminate pests. For most of the last millennium and all of this one, they’ve kept busy displacing dark-skinned people to make room for themselves and their polluting activities.

White people are preoccupied with violence. Their favorite subject seems to be killing, which forms the theme of most of their fiction. So many murders are dramatized for their amusement that most white people now think they risk death whenever they venture out of doors.

Their favorite pastimes are car racing, featuring high-speed collisions that are occasionally lethal, and “professional” wrestling, an exhibition of simulated violence that would, if it were genuine, kill or maim the athletes. They bring their preferences to politics, keeping the world in a permanent state of war. They’re consummate cowards, waging armed aggression these days with proxies from the poorest segments of their population and with robots and remote controlled missiles.

White people consume like vermin, and their waste piles are mountain-high in some places. They’re forever deodorizing and disinfecting. Their skin is ugly and difficult to maintain, and so white folks must keep a selection of cosmetics with them at all times.

Most non-white people privately think white people should be ground up and fed to their pets, but their various moral codes don’t allow them to express this desire. White people, by contrast, have no obligatory moral code and are known for leaving the dead bodies of non-whites to litter the streets of places like Gaza and New Orleans for scavengers to pick at.

Barack Obama’s skin is a bit dark for him to be considered white, but he was raised by white people and seems to have picked up most of their ways. He’s in the process now of withdrawing help from poor people in this country–including nearly all the non-whites among us–to buy bullets to kill brown people in Afghanistan and black people in Somalia and Libya. Mighty white of you, Barry.